Should I Worry about My 5-Year-Old’s Obsession with Halloween, Spooky Toys, and Scary Themes?
This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with topics related to death and play that incorporates dark themes. Please take care when reading.
We recently received a question from a mom worried about her son’s darker play and interest in spooky, scary themes. Below is the question, and a response from our child mental health experts:
“My 5-year-old son is expressing bizarre behavior and interests. He has speech delays and was thriving in pre-K class until COVID ruined that. Now he doesn't pay attention, rarely participates and refuses to do any homework.
For the last three years, he has been obsessed with Halloween-type things, like skeletons, ghosts, ghouls, witches, zombies, etc. He loves watching Halloween Store walk-thru videos on Youtube and watching his Dad play zombie video games. Many of his toys are either skeleton- or zombie-related or they're just Halloween props. None of that really bothered me until recently, when I began finding his toys staged in very disturbing ways.
Tonight, I found a plush Spiderman laying on his bed with a plastic bag over his head. Woody from Toy Story was hanging from the door handle with some cloth wrapped around his neck, and he had shackles and chains on his hands. Another Woody was sitting up in his bed next to a skeleton.
This isn't the first bizarre scene I've found over the last year. Mostly I find his toys hanging from a leg upside-down from a door handle, or some plastic prop chains connecting a toy to a chair... but the Spiderman with the bag on his head was too much today.Now I'm worried that I’ve somehow broken my child, and he’ll become something awful when he grows up. Should I be worried?”
- Anonymous
Thank you for your question. Since there are a few concerns highlighted here, I will address them one at a time.
Firstly, you mentioned that your son has speech delays. If you or school personnel think they are significant enough, he could be entitled to speech and language services through your local school district. If you haven't already explored early intervention supports, and think he could benefit from them, you can ask that his school provide a speech and language evaluation.
Secondly, you indicated that he is having difficulties with remote learning. Please know that his struggles related to inattention, work refusal, and lack of engagement are not unique to him. Many young children are struggling with remote learning, and parents are having to deal with the resulting distress it is provoking. This pandemic has taught us that remote learning does not work for the majority of young children. Hang in there. Hopefully, they will all be back at school soon enough.
Thirdly, you mentioned your son’s “bizarre behavior and interests.” For starters, it is not uncommon for children to develop an interest in one specific area. For example, they may be into dinosaurs, and that interest may last some time before it switches to something else. Your son was just at the age when children have more prolonged and sustained peer interactions. This generally helps introduce kids to new interests (e.g., they want to play with toys that their friends like). Due to the pandemic, children currently have less exposure to each other.
I think your feelings about your child’s play themes are informative. If you think they are getting too bizarre, they likely are.
It is not uncommon for kids to pop heads off of toys, tie things up and drag them around, or otherwise do things that, at times, can seem odd to adults. Sometimes when kids see something they find frightening, the way they try to make sense of it is through learning more about it. This might mean asking lots of questions about frightening things, playing out various scenarios, and watching for reactions from others.
I do wonder if your son was exposed to a particularly scary scene in a movie or video game and he’s trying to process that. He likely didn’t come up with the idea of the bag over Superman’s head on his own—he probably saw that somewhere.
I might also add that his fascination with Halloween characters, toys, etc. may be a way in which he is trying to connect with his father. If Dad is playing zombie or similar video games, it could be a way in which your son is attempting to be more like him. It’s not uncommon for children to want to model the behavior and interests of their parents. Even if your son’s interest in Halloween characters was there prior to your husband’s zombie video game playing, this shared interest between them will only serve to reinforce your son’s obsession with these toys.
Finally, I would say that it is important to listen to your feelings in this situation. Children can have bizarre and interesting play themes. I’ve seen kids obsessed with “Jaws” and sharks, Godzilla, blood and guts, etc. Your son’s play is starting to move towards themes related to death. Here are three recommendations to help you navigate this situation:
First, I would recommend decreasing his access to some of these darker play themes for now. I would suggest his father not play the zombie video games while your son is around, or make the choice to play a game with him that has a different play quality—more developmentally aligned. They could build something together, play with race cars, or cook.
Second, I would sit down to talk with your son, and see if there is anything that is scaring or bothering him. You might check in on his feelings, and ask about the staging of the toys.
Third, I would work to be more proactive in supporting other play activities and toys. You can try giving these more attention and hype.
If you still feel concerned about his play and would like a second opinion, you could consult a child therapist or consider Little Otter. We offer parent coaching, which may support you in developing a plan for more positive play, and we also offer clinical consultation if you require additional help or guidance.
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