15 Warning Signs of Bullying in Children

Our children can’t always tell us what they’re feeling and going through. Their behavior is often our window into what they’re experiencing internally. As children head back to the classroom, you might wonder if your little one is experiencing bullying - and how to know what to look for.

In this post, you’ll learn 15 warning signs that may indicate your child is being bullied.

But first, what is bullying and how common is it?

Bullying is defined by the Center for Disease Control as “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths, who are not siblings or current dating partners, that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance, and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated.”

There are three types of bullying:

• Physical bullying occurs when a person’s body is hurt or possessions are damaged. It may look like:

  • Hitting, kicking, punching or pinching

  • Spitting

  • Tripping or pushing

  • Taking, breaking, damaging and/or defacing someone’s things

  • Making mean or rude hand gestures

• Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. It may look like:

  • Teasing or taunting

  • Name-calling

  • Inappropriate sexual comments

  • Threatening to cause harm

• Relational/social bullying is about damaging someone’s reputation or relationships. It may look like:

  • Rumor-spreading

  • Intentionally excluding one child from others

  • Telling other children not to be friends with someone

  • Embarrassing someone in public

Bullying can happen in-person, in school and beyond, or online. Online bullying is sometimes referred to as cyberbullying. 

Bullying is a pervasive problem. Approximately 20% of school-aged children will experience bullying, according to the U.S. Department of Education.

The effects of bullying on a child’s physical, mental, emotional, educational, and social well-being can be long-lasting. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, sadness, loneliness, decreased academic performance, and health complaints. 

So how can you tell if your child is being bullied, particularly if they don’t want to talk about it?

Here are 15 warning signs that may indicate your child is being bullied.

We’ll break down the warning signs into four main categories:

1. Emotional and Behavioral

2. Physical

3. School-Specific

4. Social/Relational

Emotional and Behavioral Warning Signs of Bullying

• Changes in mood, such as sadness, anxiety, or irritability

• Becomes aggressive, particularly with siblings

• Gets upset easily, expressing crying, tantrums, or angry outbursts

• Changes in sleeping and eating

  • This may look like trouble sleeping or nightmares, or skipping meals or binge eating.

• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem

Physical Warning Signs of Bullying

• Cuts and bruises

• Comes home from school with possessions damaged or missing

• Comes home from school unusually hungry

• Complains of headaches, stomach aches, and other illnesses particularly on school days

School-Specific Warning Signs of Bullying

• Doesn’t want to go to school or loss of interest in schoolwork

• Anxious about taking the school bus

• Academic performance declines

• Doesn’t want to talk about school or what’s bothering them

Peer Relationship or Social Warning Signs of Bullying

• Doesn’t have friends or is often alone

• Excluded from friend groups or avoids social situations

• Regularly teased or harassed by other children

One in five children will experience bullying. Chances are, even if your child isn’t being bullied, they’ve witnessed it. This National Bullying Prevention Month, consider taking a few moments to talk with your child about bullying.

Get Help for Bullying

If you notice self-destructive behaviors, like running away from home, self-harming, or talking or thinking about suicide, it’s time to get help. 

Here’s a list of resources based on your situation, based on a resource by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services:

• If there’s been a crime or someone is at immediate risk of harm, call 911.

• If someone is feeling hopeless, helpless, thinking of suicide, talk to someone. Free and confidential support resources are available 24/7. Talk to someone now:

  • Call 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

  • Chat with Lifeline

  • Visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

  • For Spanish speakers:

    • Call 1-888-628-9454

    • Visit Ayuda en Español: Lifeline

  • For deaf/hard of hearing:

    • Call 1-800-799-4889

• If someone is acting differently from normal, such as always seeming sad or anxious, struggling to complete tasks, or not being able to care for themselves, find a local counselor or other mental health services.

• If a child is being bullied in school, contact the:

  • Teacher

  • School counselor

  • School principal

  • School superintendent

  • State Department of Education

  • Learn more about working with the school.

• If the school is not adequately addressing harassment based on race, color, national origin, sex (including sexual orientation and gender identity), disability, or religion, contact:

  • School superintendent

  • State Department of Education

  • U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights

  • U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division

Looking for Additional Support for Bullying?

If you have questions about bullying, you can ask our team of child mental and behavioral health experts - online and for free.

If you’re seeking additional guidance as your family navigates bullying, as a bully or a victim, we’re here to listen and support your family. We’re currently available in select states. You can register for Little Otter’s on-demand mental health services here.