How Can I Help My Sibling with an Eating Disorder?

This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with disordered eating. Please take care when reading.

One young person recently asked us about how to help their brother, who appears to suffer from an eating disorder. Here is their question, and an answer from our team of child mental health experts.

“I’m worried for my younger brother, who is avoiding food. We have to try to force him to eat. Most of the time, he denies it and stays hungry. How can I help my brother with this eating disorder?”

- D., India

Thank you for contacting Little Otter! From the information you provided, I do not have many details about your brother's eating disorder.

However, what you describe is a serious disorder, and the denial of symptoms by the person with eating disorder is very common.

Like many disorders of behavior (such as substance use disorders, for instance), the symptoms of illness are often minimized or denied (even when clearly present) by people with eating disorders. You may hear this person say things like, “I just want to run to be healthy,” or “I’m eating this way to stay fit.” This may be a result of shame, and a desire to continue a behavior which, while destructive, is reinforcing for several reasons.

I am unsure of your relationship with your brother, or if you are his legal guardian. Regardless, I want to direct you towards resources for family members:

• F.E.A.S.T.: This is an organization designed for parents of people suffering from eating disorders, but it does still offer some valuable guidance for family members, too.
• National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) Helpline: Here are a few ways to contact NEDA and seek support for eating disorders.
• NEDA Screening Tool (for people 13+ years old): This online quiz is designed for people 13 years of age, and older. After answering a few questions, you’ll learn if it’s time to seek professional help from an expert in your area.

Keep in mind that your sibling is likely experiencing shame, which may be severe. That’s why it’s important to treat him with compassion, especially when communicating about the eating disorder or self-image.

I hope that this helps you with resources as you seek to support and understand your brother.

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