How to Build Resilience in Children
In talking about the impact of this pandemic and global conflict on child development, chances are that someone has floated the idea of “resiliency.” But what does resilience mean in the context of child mental health, and how can you build your child’s resilience?
In this post, you’ll learn what resiliency is all about and how to build resilience in children.
First, we’ll start by defining resilience, and debunking some myths about what that word really means. Then, we’ll cover how to build resiliency in children. Last but not least, we’ll talk about next steps if you’re worried about your child. Let’s get started…
What is Resilience in Children’s Mental Health?
When you think of the word “resilience,” chances are, you think of phrases like “bouncing back.”
In the context of mental health for people of all ages, resilience is the ability to adapt to difficult situations and recover from challenges.
Generally speaking, we do know that children are very resilient. In many cases, they’re able to bounce back, even when there’s been a challenge, disruption, or other dip.
But we need to clarify the word “resilient.”
Sometimes when we hear “resilient,” we might think it means that children will automatically be okay given time. Or we think that they’ll be okay, and we don't have to provide additional support when a challenge occurs. That's not what “resilient” means.
“Resilient” means they're capable of bouncing back. It doesn't mean that if we ignore the challenges or just “keep an eye on it,” that they'll recover.
It goes further: when children have challenges adapting, they're not failing to be resilient.
Lack of resiliency happens when children have faced challenges, stressors, traumas, adversity to the degree that they are not able to function in the way that you would hope that they would.
Dr. Helen’s research clearly shows that each additional stressor a child experiences doubles the chance that the child is going to have an impairing mental health disorder.
This is true until you reach five or more stressors; at that point, 100% of those children have an impairing mental health disorder.
That is not because those children failed to be resilient. It's because they were in an environment, in a context, that no human being could emerge from without some impact.
How to Build Resilience in Children
The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.
These relationships provide the personalized responsiveness, scaffolding, and protection that buffer children from developmental disruption. They also build key capacities — such as the ability to plan, monitor, and regulate behavior — that enable children to respond adaptively to adversity and thrive.
This combination of supportive relationships, adaptive skill-building, and positive experiences is the foundation of resilience.
To build resilience in children, make sure that they have a loving, stable, supportive relationship with at least one parent, caregiver, or other adult.
Worried About Your Child?
If your child's behavior is changing at all, consider what's going on for them. If changes are happening, that doesn't necessarily mean that they won't get back to where they were. It may turn out that they may have a “new normal” - and that’s 100% fine, too.
If you’re wondering if it’s time to worry about your little one, Little Otter is here to help. You can book a free introductory call here.
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