My 5-Year-Old has Trouble Sleeping. Should I Be Worried?

My 5-year-old daughter has trouble sleeping. She frequently either wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, or fights going to bed. Should I be worried?

This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. Please take care when reading.

Children need sleep for healthy development, but that doesn’t mean getting your child to appreciate bedtime or sleep is easy. One parent submitted a question to our team of child mental health experts, wondering whether to worry about their 5-year-old daughter’s sleeping habits. Here’s their question, and our team’s advice:

“I’m worried about my 5-year-old daughter’s sleep habits. She frequently either wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, or fights going to bed. She’s never been a great sleeper, but lately, it seems like she’s coming into our room at night more often. Should we be worried?”

- G., New York

Thank you for your question.

Sleep issues are not uncommon in children your daughter’s age. In fact, most children go through periods of nightmares or night terrors. They may also have fears of monsters or experience other possible anxieties.

There are a number of strategies you can implement to help improve and support your daughter’s sleep pattern.

First, consider developing a sleep routine. This would include a consistent sequence of activities performed before she goes to sleep at night (e.g., a five-minute warning to brush her teeth, brushing her teeth, getting into bed, reading a book or two, and lights out). It also helps if bedtime is at the same hour every night.

In addition to a routine, there are things you can do to support your daughter when she wakes up in the middle of the night:

When she does wake up, you can go into her room and gently reassure her that she is fine and she can go back to sleep. The idea here is not to provide her with too much attention or stay with her for prolonged periods of time. The idea is for her to realize she is fine while she learns how to soothe herself back to sleep.
You also mentioned that she is coming into your room at night. When this happens, it is important that you take her back to her own room as soon as possible, and follow the advice above to lovingly—and briefly—reassure her. Initially, she may demonstrate an increased resistance, especially if she has been allowed to spend extensive time in your bedroom in the past. But over time, this routine will help her learn to put herself back to sleep.

Also, on nights when she has been able to stay in her own bed all night, you might consider a reward in the morning. This behavioral intervention will help to reinforce her ability to self-soothe during the night.

I also recommend the book “It’s Never Too Late to Sleep Train” as it provides additional advice on how to help your child to stay in her bed at night.

If you try some of the above interventions and still feel like you could benefit from further support, please consider Litter Otter. We offer parent coaching and referrals to other child specialists, as needed.