5 Tips to Help Your Child Deal with Back to School Anxiety During COVID-19
This back-to-school season is new - and challenging - for educators and families alike.
Some school districts have sent students and teachers back to class with safety measures in place while others are operating only virtually. Others announce a plan only to change it. As you and your children acclimate to a very different school year, it’s likely that your family is experiencing some anxiety about all the uncertainty.
There’s no playbook for how to deal with a global pandemic while maintaining your peace of mind and your family’s schedule. There’s no “right” way to parent during COVID-19. There are no rules for how to take on the added responsibility of being a teacher while continuing to keep your family fed, sheltered, washed, and rested. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that you’re far from alone. What you’re already doing to keep everything afloat is downright heroic. Your hands are very full right now, and the last thing you need is another to-do list.
If your child is experiencing anxiety, our goal is to offer a menu of practical tips that can help in five specific situations for back-to-school season amid COVID-19.
One more note: If you have specific mental health-related questions about your child, know that you can ask them - online and for free - to a child psychologist here at Little Otter. Click here to ask your question.
+ When You Have No Idea When School Will be Back to Normal
We all wish we could shield our children from the effects of what’s going on in the world. But while we cannot take them out of the current situation, we can support them in finding their way through it.
You can help normalize uncertainty about going back to school by being honest about your feelings and modeling healthy ways of coping with them.
This is an opportunity to demonstrate resilience and to show your child that while uncertainty may be uncomfortable, it can be managed.
For example, let’s say you just got an email from your child’s principal stating that, while they had plans to reopen the school this month, they are going to have to continue offering virtual instruction. In that instance, you’re likely going to feel some mix of stress, frustration, and relief - and your child's going to pick up on all of it.
Your child will be experiencing a lot of the same feelings. You can acknowledge your feelings while you reassure your child that you are going to take care of the practical side of things.
You might also want to check in with your child about how they’re feeling. Some kids might be sad; other kids might feel relieved. Like you, your child will probably have a mix of feelings.
You might say something like: “I’m disappointed that you can’t go back to school just yet, but I’m glad to hear your principal wants you to be safe. I’m going to keep doing my best to help you with your school work from home and make sure we all have time for fun stuff, too.”
+ When the News Feels Overwhelming
It’s a tough balancing act - absorbing enough news to stay informed, but not so much that it derails your day and spikes your anxiety. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the information coming from the TV, radio, or from your phone, chances are your kids are feeling it, too.
In stressful times, it’s important to share honest, factual, developmentally-appropriate information with your children about what is going on around them. But it’s easy for little brains and bodies to get flooded with worry when they don’t have the ability to discern their true level of risk.
It is also important to protect children from media focused on the pandemic and politics. Young children, in particular, do not have the tools to understand and contextualize what they hear.
The most important thing is to check in with your child if they bring up the pandemic or other news. You might be surprised by their understanding or concerns. Listening and talking provides a chance to connect with your child and to provide reassurance.
You know your family best and so you can decide how much or what kinds of information are healthy and helpful for your child. Then when it’s time to unplug for a bit, find some good news to talk about as a family.
+ When Your Child’s Emotions Seem More Intense Than Usual
Just like you take your child’s temperature when they’re under the weather, it’s also important to monitor how they’re feeling emotionally. Older children with more advanced verbal skills can usually tell you how they’re feeling if you ask them. And if you have younger children, spending some “floor time” playing together each day can give you great insight into their emotions.
Maintaining an open dialogue about feelings can help your children feel safe. We’re living through a public health crisis that has had a great impact on mental health. It’s completely natural for you and your children to experience heightened emotions right now.
But if your child struggles with anxiety, you’ve probably witnessed them spending too much time in the feeling realm.
You can help them move through their emotional state by reflecting their feelings back to them as they come up. This can be as simple as saying something like “it looks like you’re feeling sad” or “it looks like you’re feeling worried.”
If you’re uncertain about the severity of your child’s anxiety, you can ask a real child psychiatrist about it - online and for free. Click here to ask your questions.
+ When Your Whole Family is Stressed Out
When your family is stressed, mindfulness is a technique that may help help relieve some pressure.
Mindfulness is a self-soothing activity that you can do by yourself or as a family. It involves checking in with the body and the mind to identify thoughts or sources of tension, noticing and accepting them, and then letting them pass without judgment.
It’s a popular technique that takes a little practice, but that has shown to have incredibly positive results for children and adults alike. It doesn’t require any expensive equipment or curriculum and you can do it just about anywhere.
One easy way to practice mindfulness is to focus on mindful breathing. This is an especially helpful tool for children who are experiencing worry or anxiety in their body that they can not verbalize.
By slowing down the breath, and thereby the central nervous system, you can foster a greater sense of calm and relaxation.
But you don’t have to wait to practice mindfulness until you or your child's feeling anxious. In slowly building more mindful habits into your day, you and your child can begin to feel more grounded in times of stress. Then if your child's still feeling anxious once school begins, consider giving their teacher a heads up so they can be supportive.
+ When Your Child’s Classroom is Taking Over Your House
Because of COVID, almost everything about the average family routine has changed. In many homes, one or both parents are working with no stable child care or school schedule.
On top of that, this summer probably didn’t include the vacations, summer camps, or time with friends and loved ones that make the season so memorable for children. Now your kids are headed back to school and into a great unknown.
Most parents know that although they may push back against it, children need structure to feel safe and to thrive. As hard as it might be, a predictable routine can help your family navigate all changes and challenges you’re facing together.
Here are a few real-world ways to create structure for your child:
- Start and end the day the same way.
- Schedule breaks and unstructured time.
- Maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
Depending on your child’s school situation, they may be attending school from home part or all of the time.
While they’re at home, there are lots of ways to create structure and consistency around their schooling.
It helps to write a schedule out–on a big piece of paper, chalk board, or white board. For younger children, you can use pictures (drawn or cut-out from magazines) to show different activities. If your child helps you make the schedule, they will learn about how the day will go. Taking away the uncertainty of “what comes next” can reduce children’s anxiety. Be sure to make a schedule about your work, too, so that your child can know when you are busy – working or working out!
You may also consider creating a special space to work and focus during the day. If you have the room, make this space feel separated from other areas of the home. If not, you can simply designate a chair in the house or seat at the dinner table where your child does their schoolwork. Even just designating a set of school-only crayons or pencils can enhance structure and routine that will help your child feel more secure.
It’s safe to say that no one knows for certain what life will look like in the months ahead. Amidst all the unknowns, it’s an important time to be kind to yourself.
As mental health professionals, we’re relying on what the science and our experience tells us about managing anxiety in times of uncertainty, but this is a new situation for everyone. We’re learning right alongside you, and looking to the wisdom of the parents and guardians we work with each day to figure out how to navigate the challenges of this unprecedented season.
If your child’s having a hard time dealing with back-to-school this year, and their worries are keeping them from thriving at home and school, Little Otter may be able to help.
Last week, we shared an article with common signs of clinical anxiety in children of every age to help you learn when to worry.
We’re also building digital tools to help parents understand and identify possible signs of an anxiety disorder in their child so families can get the help they need sooner. Learn more about joining Little Otter here.
In the meantime, know that you can ask your questions to a real child psychologist, therapist, or behavioral health expert, online and for free. Our team of world-class child and adolescent mental health professionals are ready to help.
Whether you have questions about your toddler’s tantrums or your 8-year-old’s ability to make friends, we are available to provide answers to those big and little worries about your children and your family.
(Know that, if you prefer, you can choose to ask anonymously.) No question is too small when it comes to your family.
