This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with topics related to tantrums. Please take care when reading.

We recently received a question from a parent asking whether to worry about their two year old’s behavior when upset. Below is the question, and a response from our child mental health experts:

“My toddler bangs their head when they gets upset. Should I be worried about my child’s head banging when upset?”

- M., Kentucky

Thank you for contacting Little Otter. We know that it can be upsetting when your child is upset and banging his or her head!

Surprisingly, head banging is somewhat common in toddlers, with up to 20% of infants and toddlers demonstrating this behavior.

However, if your toddler has bruises from this behavior, it is important to visit your pediatrician right away to rule out any potential medical or developmental concerns.

Generally, toddlers engage in head banging for a number of reasons, including:

• Self-comfort and self-stimulation: Some children bang their heads rhythmically as they're falling asleep or when they wake up in the middle of the night to soothe themselves.

• Expression of pain: Children may also bang their heads to express and relieve pain from teething, ear infections, or other concerns. If you are concerned that your child is in pain, please schedule an appointment with your family's primary care clinician to rule out any medical concerns.

• Frustration: Young children often feel intense emotions that they are not yet able to manage. Because communication and self-regulation are still emerging skills, it is typical to see head banging when children are upset, frustrated, or stressed. If you child is upset, you can help them learn other ways to calm down like taking three slow deep breaths or briefly going to a "calm down" corner which is a quiet area with objects that can help them self-soothe like stuffed animals or blankets.

• Attention: Frequent head banging may be a way for your child to get attention, particularly if you or other caregivers react strongly to this behavior. As such, deliver high praise for any desired behavior, such as using words or coming to you when upset. You want your child to learn he/she gets more attention when demonstrating other behaviors, as opposed to banging his/her head.

 If you would like more guidance around how to support your son, Little Otter is available for consultation and services in FL, CO, NC, and CA, as needed.

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