Many kids get attached to “loveys” when they’re little: a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, or toy that they carry with them everywhere. Loveys are also called “transitional objects.” 

Small comfort items are another kind of transitional object. These comfort objects help children center themselves when they feel anxious. Your child can carry the comfort object in their pocket or backpack, and hold it when they feel anxious. The comfort objects help your child connect with themselves — and with you.

Follow the steps outlined below to make a comfort object with your little one.

Supplies You’ll Need:

• Small smooth rocks (river pebbles are great)

• Paint or markers

Instructions

• Set aside uninterrupted time to do this activity with your child. If possible, choose a quiet place where you will not be interrupted. Put aside your phone (and have your child put aside their electronics, too).

• Have your child choose a rock. You should choose one, too. Make sure the rock is small enough to fit in the palm of the hand (and into a pocket). Decorate your rock with paint or markers. Choose colors and/or pictures that make your child and you feel happy and calm.

• Share with each other why you decorated your rock the way you did.

• Introduce the idea that this is a "comfort rock" that can help them to feel calm and centered.

• Each of you should hold the rock and take three deep breaths. Encourage your child to do these breaths every time they hold their rock. This can help them regulate their emotions and reduce tension throughout the day.

• Encourage your child to close their eyes and roll the rock around in their hands. Have them describe what they feel (e.g. it’s smooth, it’s round, it’s cool). Encourage them to do this same activity in their head when they’re feeling anxious. Engaging their senses will help distract, comfort, and ground them.

• Plan out times for your child to hold their rock to help ground and comfort them. For example, when they separate from you to get on the bus, have them hold their rock and tell them to remember how much you love them whenever they look at it.