This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with worries related to student behavior and school. Please take care when reading.

One educator wrote in with concerns about a young student who recently started acting out. Here is the question, and an answer from our team of child mental health experts.

“We have a kindergarten student at our school who started acting out after Thanksgiving break, and has progressively gotten worse. It started off as crying and missing mom, so we offered a check in with the counselor. But this soon turned into wandering around the classroom ripping and destroying property, eloping from the classroom, and not responding to staff. He’ll only respond and say he wants to go home or wants mom. We have tried breaks, charts, rewards and the behavior is not improving. What can we do to support this student? We are unsure what the trigger is exactly, as we are making his school environment as accommodating as possible.”

- L.,

Thank you for contacting Little Otter. We love working with educators and schools! You play such an important and essential role in little one's development. It sounds like you are trying your best with different tools and strategies to best support this student. 

From what you are describing the main behaviors occurring in the classroom are elopement, destroying property, and not following instructions. He is also verbalizing missing mom which could be a sign of separation anxiety or some underlying mental health concern.

The first thing that can help you target those behaviors is understanding the function or why they are happening in the first place. As adults we often forget how hard it is to be little and that underneath every big behavior is a big feeling. Behavior typically serves four functions:

• Attention from others.

• Escape or avoidance from non-preferred activities .

• Access to desired items or activities

• Automatic or sensory satisfaction, as the behavior itself feels good.

We invite you to look at his behavior from a detective's perspective. It would be important for you to begin tracking what we call the ABCs (antecedent, behavior, consequence) of his behavior. You will begin tracking what happened right before the behavior occurs, such as giving an instruction, reading activity, circle time, etc. then you will note what the behavior looks like (saying no, running, hiding, etc). And immediately after, you can write what happened after the behavior. The consequence is not only your classroom management system, but it can also be how the teacher responded or how other students responded. 

We are also wondering about the sudden intensity in behaviors following Thanksgiving; we wonder if he experienced any changes or stressful experiences in his life that is now resulting in more externalizing behaviors. It sounds like you were incredibly thoughtful in looping in the school counselor for social-emotional support and we encourage you to reach out to your student's caregivers as well.

Having a strong and communicative caregiver-teacher partnership, as we're sure you know, is incredibly useful in supporting kiddos in all domains of their life.

You mentioned using rewards and charts; however, oftentimes when these are applied without measurable goals it is difficult for kiddos to respond to them. For children with behavioral difficulties at school, the use of a Daily Report Card (DRC) is an effective strategy to promote target behaviors and improve home-school communication. A DRC would provide your student with rewards at home for achieving specific behaviors at school. This way the child is creating a connection between his performance in school and how that relates at home. This is a tool that also helps children feel successful and empowered to improve their behavior. It will help improve his relationship with his teachers and with you. 

Depending on the state you and your student’s family are located in, Little Otter may be available for evaluation and treatment support! We have mental health and parent specialists that focus on providing tools, interventions, and strategies to address concerns with behavior in schools and at home. 

If you have any further questions, don’t be afraid to reach out.

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