It’s tough to be a kid today. In addition to navigating the tumult of school during the pandemic, they’re also growing up in a time of rapid social and technological change. (Who could have imagined TikTok stars even 5 years ago?) But it goes beyond these broad cultural challenges. Children also navigate more personal difficulties, like body image concerns, even at a young age. More than 60% of children 8-18 years old are self-conscious about their appearance. Body positivity for kids seems, at first glance, to be an answer. But is it?

Wondering about how to cultivate body positivity for kids? You’re in the right place.

In this article, our team of child mental health experts provide insights about body positivity for kids, body neutrality, and more.

What is body positivity?

In the simplest terms, the body positivity movement says that all individuals deserve to have positive feelings about their bodies - no matter what it looks like or does. While the conversation around body positivity in the media focuses on size and shape, it’s important to remember that body positivity celebrates and accepts all differences in appearances, like race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and different physical or mental abilities. 

In that way, body positivity aims to celebrate and accept all differences in appearance to reduce the experience of feeling “other,” “lesser,” or “outside of the norm.”

Our culture has a habit of making negative judgements about bodies, and the body positivity movement stands in contrast to that.

Body positivity is more than “feeling good” about your appearance and your body, because body image is related to mental health and wellbeing.

Body positivity is linked to internal feelings of self-worth, self-esteem, self-acceptance, and identity. Body positivity can also impact our relationship to food, eating, exercise, clothing, and more. 

Body neutrality is similar, except it focuses on acceptance only. Proponents of body neutrality want to reduce or remove negative self-image, without adding the pressure to celebrate the body.

What factors can shape a child’s self-image?

People’s feelings about their bodies are shaped by personal experiences with others, from personal connections like parents and caregivers, family, peer groups, and communities, to pop culture, media, and entertainment. 

There is strong evidence that the edited imagery in social media, advertising, and entertainment, influences our conception of what is “beautiful” and desirable. It also distorts expectations about what’s realistic or attainable.

Positive feedback on these edited images can reinforce the feeling that the edited image is better or more popular, Dr. Egger added.

Why does body positivity matter?

Body image is closely connected to mental health and wellness.

We know that having a negative body image impacts behavior and mental health.

Keep in mind that a person’s sense of their own body may be different than how their body appears to others. After all, perception is subjective. 

In fact, the Dove Self-Esteem Project found that 60% of girls feel upset when their real appearance doesn’t match the online version of themselves. In addition, concerns about being overweight are common, even from very young ages. Consider that between 40-60% of typical weight teenage girls think they’re fat, and around 50% of girls and 33% of boys 6-8 years old think they are overweight.

Challenges with body image can result in more severe concerns, too, like eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and even body dysmorphic disorder. 

During the pandemic, the number of teenage girls going to the ER for eating disorders has doubled. Rates of depression and anxiety have skyrocketed, too. (Anxiety and depression are related, but distinct. Learn more about the difference between anxiety and depression.)

Body positivity matters because it has the potential to help children accept and celebrate their bodies as they grow and change. 

How can parents and caregivers support body positivity in kids?

It’s important to emphasize that parents and caregivers should strive to be aware of their own body image issues and their relationship to eating, food and exercise. It is also important that parents be aware of their responses to differences in appearance, beyond body shape and size. These can have an impact on the children in your life.

More specifically, parents can take the following tips to heart.

1. Be mindful of your communication.

There are many common phrases that adults may say, even unintentionally, around children that can impact how they feel about their bodies. It’s really important for parents to model a healthy and positive relationship to their bodies, as well as to food and exercise, and to celebrate differences.

When a parent says things like, “I look so fat in this dress,” or “I am going to be ‘good’ and not eat that cookie, because it will make me fat,” they’re modeling that they see their own body in a negative way, and that not eating a certain food makes you a good person.

Parents also say things directly to children that impact how they feel about their bodies. Research shows that adults tend to comment more on girls’ appearance than boys’. When the first thing we say is, “Don’t you look so pretty,” we’re focusing on outward appearance and emphasizing the importance of body image. 

Children learn from what they experience and observe, not simply what we tell them. Be mindful of non-verbal communication around body and image, too.

2. Support social and emotional development.

When preventing or navigating body image challenges, it’s important to support your child’s social and emotional capabilities. 

A way that we teach our children “body neutrality” is to make the connection between emotions and thoughts, and how we feel about our appearance.

Feelings about our appearance are often linked to more difficult emotions and thoughts such as self-doubt, worries, sadness, dissatisfaction, and wishes to be able to change our situations.

Helping kids recognize and express their emotions, and have skills in relating to other people, can make it easier for them to understand and communicate those difficult feelings. 

3. Counterbalance social media and entertainment industry narratives.

Pressure from societal norms and the media and entertainment industry is so intense that parents have to actively counter these messages. 

We can also give our kids the tools to tell the difference between what is shown in the media as “ideal,” and real people. This is why it’s also important to make sure that the media you consume - books, shows, movies and more - represent diversity in appearances including body shape and size.

It’s recommended to monitor social media use, too.

4. Pay attention.

Be alert to how your child talks about their appearance, body shape and size, and food or diets. Sometimes, children may also experience teasing and bullying about body image and appearance. This can be connected to social media, or not. Learn the warning signs of bullying here.

Negative self-talk and focus on image can be signs that your child is struggling with self-perception and body image. Keep reading to learn tips for how to respond if you think your child has a negative self-perception.

5. Shift the focus to health.

Again, the most important thing is to focus on health and wellness: healthy food, physical activity, and the joy of being a fully-rounded person who is so much more than their appearance. 

How can parents respond to a child’s negative body image?

The best thing you can do is show your child that you’re a safe person to talk to about difficult thoughts or feelings they’re having about their body or appearance. Listen and seek to understand what’s bothering them, before jumping in with reassurance or solutions. 

Seek help for your child if you’re concerned that their negative feelings about their body or appearance are pervasive, causing them a lot of distress, and/or are adversely impacting their functioning or relationships. 

Little Otter is here to help with your big and little worries, including challenges with body image. 

Get started today.