My daughter Emma started school for the first time this fall. Like many parents, I was anxious about how the transition would impact her.

As an only child growing up in a pandemic, she hasn’t interacted much with kids her own age. At 2, she’s more susceptible to the highly transmissible Delta variant than kids over 12 who can get vaccinated and those who are required to wear masks inside.

Having been home with us since she was born, Emma’s used to my husband and me being around all the time (he went back to the office recently) and spending time with her sitter (who moved on to another full-time job last week).

It felt like a lot of changes were about to hit her all at once, and I was worried.

Enter Little Otter’s Back-to-School Mental Health Toolkit.

As a busy, working mom, I’m always short on time. So, the promise of personalized strategies in under five minutes piqued my interest. Could I really get actionable tips in less time than it took to wrangle Emma into an outfit?

I dove in (and glanced at the clock). Right off the bat, the sweet otter graphics made me smile. By the time I was a few questions in, I noticed a subtle shift. I had expected this to feel like all the other questionnaires out there – straight-forward… yet dull.

Instead, I felt a little less alone. Admittedly the otters helped, but so did the welcoming language. It was like I was having a conversation rather than completing a form. Along the way, the reassuring nuggets of encouragement left me feeling like someone was quietly cheering me on, “You’ve got this, mama!”

The questions were easy to understand yet thought-provoking. Because they were framed around observations over the past six months, I had a chance to briefly step out of my day-to-day concerns and pause to think through how Emma had been doing through a more comprehensive, longer-term lens.

It became obvious about halfway through that much of the worry I thought Emma would experience was a projection of my own concerns and anxiety.

As the author of a new pandemic parenting resource guide, Comeback Kids: A Pocket Guide to Post-Pandemic Parenting, and a kids’ mental health advocate, I often stress the importance of prioritizing personal mental well-being when I talk to caregivers about how they can help their kids cope during uncertain times.

Little Otter’s Back to School Mental Health Toolkit gave me the chance to realize I needed to practice a little more of what I preach. I got a holistic perspective on how my family is doing from reading over the results, and it left me feeling hopeful.

A bulleted list of suggestions based on my answers offered me tangible ways to support Emma while also gently encouraging her independence.

By using parallel play, I could increase her confidence, support her fine motor development and help her learn new social skills. Establishing a ritual for leaving the house could help Emma cope with separation anxiety. Knowing I could continue to foster her social skills through modeling while also learning that Emma’s relationships with other kids seemed to be on par with what was typical for her age immediately lessened some of my mounting anxiety.

Instead of just telling me what to do, the results gave me solutions for how to do it. (There’s even a “What can I do?” drop-down in each section.) I could see myself using many of the tips to support Emma while also taking care of myself, without having to overhaul my life. In my book, that’s worth every second of the three minutes it took me to complete it.

One thing we love doing together is making art. Emma has a vivid imagination and a deep love for all colors (especially brown, yellow and purple, it seems). So when I read over the “Suggested Activities” at the end of each section of the toolkit (there are four sections covering child emotional and social challenges, caregiver mental health risk, family stress and school feelings), I was immediately drawn to the idea of making a “calm down” bottle together.

My phone continued pinging me with work alerts even after I switched gears from my day job to watch Emma after school. I was distracted when I pulled out our supplies: an empty clear, plastic bottle, glue and a few miscellaneous buttons we had laying around. She was tired from a long, full first day and resisted sitting still until she saw the glitter.

I turned off my ringer and set my phone aside. We got to work, taking turns dropping things into the bottle before filling it up with water. I superglued the top and set it aside until after dinner. By the time I handed it to her before bed, we were both exhausted – and a little cranky.

She took the bottle in her hands and turned it over. She looked at me and then back at the bottle. Her blue eyes wide and alert, she whispered, “wow.” And so did I.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for sparkles, but something about the simple whirlwind of color left us both a little mesmerized. Without realizing it, we were immediately brought into the present moment, watching the tiny world we’d created together pulse and swirl.

Since then, we’ve brought the bottle out several times. In fact, I often give it to her when I’m getting her dressed in the morning as a way to move the process along. Every time we look at it, I’m reminded of that first moment. And of how well she seems to be doing.

I’m cognizant of what to be on the lookout for when it comes to concerning signs in kids my daughter’s age. I’m also aware of the many resources I’m lucky enough to have, but it’s easy to forget all of that when I’m consumed by worry.

As a mom who worries because she wants the best for her kid, the toolkit reminded me that I’m not alone. As simple as that may sound, it’s like a lifeline when I’m feeling anxious and stressed.

I don’t have to have all the answers all the time (or even some of the time, for that matter). That’s why mental health experts exist. All I have to do is reach out and ask for the support I need.   

Meet the Writer: Jacquelyn Lazo

Jacquelyn Lazo is the co-author of the new book, Comeback Kids: A Pocket Guide to Post-Pandemic Parenting, which she wrote with Dr. Frank DePietro, MD, PhD, medical director for the Child and Adolescent In-Patient Program at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Western Psychiatric Hospital.

She discovered her passion for helping families develop meaningful relationships that improve the mental well-being of young children and adolescents while working with Save the Children and UNICEF, among other humanitarian organizations.

She resides in Charlottesville, Virginia, with her husband and daughter.