This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with topics related to nightmares and night terrors. Please take care when reading.

We recently received a question from a mom worried about her son’s night terrors. Below is the question, and a response from our child mental health experts:

“My 5-year-old has had night terrors pretty regularly for the last two years. They follow all of the normal patterns I’ve read about - one episode about an hour or so after he falls asleep, he remains asleep during them, and doesn’t remember them in the morning.

Sometimes they are short - 1-2 minutes, but sometimes they can last between 5-10 minutes. He never leaves his bed, we sit with him, but he is inconsolable. They happen about 3-4 nights a week.

I had always associated the night terrors with him being over tired. He doesn’t nap at daycare anymore, but he does nap on home days. On days he naps, he doesn’t have night terrors. He didn’t have any when he didn’t go to daycare for about 6 months during the 2020 lock down.

Recently we went on vacation for 2 weeks and he didn’t nap very much and never had any night terrors. This has led me to wonder whether it is not just the tiredness, but possibly something stressful about daycare that causes the night terrors.

As far as we and his teachers can tell, he is perfectly happy at daycare - he’s always excited to go, shares fun things about his day, etc. He shows no other behaviors that concern me. My question is, should I be worried about the night terrors? Is this something I need to understand about how he processes stress? Will he just ‘grow out of it’ or is there something I should do? Thank you for any thoughts and advice!”

- C., Massachusetts

Thank you for contacting Little Otter. We know that managing night terrors can be hard and, not to mention, tiring! We first want to commend you on observing your son's stress, nap, and sleep patterns so carefully. This is a helpful first step in better understanding what may be precipitating or leading to more frequent night terrors.

From what you've described, the frequency and intensity of your son's night terrors sound typical (i.e., 5-10 minutes, 3-4 time per week).

Moreover, we know that night terrors are not harmful in any way, but we recommend reaching out to your son's pediatrician if you notice any of the following symptoms or behaviors: drooling, jerking, or stiffening; episodes lasting longer than 30 minutes; your son's behavior is dangerous during an episode; your son has daytime fears or you feel like there is a significant amount of family stress that may be leading to his night terrors.

With respect to your son's experience at daycare, we're happy to hear that he seems excited to go and shares fun things about his day. This is great news! Given that your son was at home during the 2020 lockdown, it may be that he is still adjusting to his return to daycare, as he is likely experiencing significantly more peer interaction and sensory stimulation than he experienced during his time at home.

To help him process his time at daycare, it may be helpful to schedule some regulating, one-on-one time with you or another caregiver when he returns home. This way, you can process any emotions he may have (e.g., "What was the hardest thing at daycare today? What was the most exciting thing at daycare today?"), and use some relaxation strategies to calm his brain and body (e.g., snuggling, taking deep breaths, muscle relaxation). Little Renegades "Mindful Kids" cards are a fun way to practice these skills and strategies with your child!

Again, it may be helpful to speak to your child's pediatrician about his night terrors if you have lingering concerns.

If you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us at Little Otter.

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